hi again

January 3o just seems like a good day for a new start. Maybe it's something in the stars that has motivated me, who knows. I'm committed to dedicate more time here starting today. I miss self-documentation and think that getting back to the things that really make me happy is a great way to start off. I seem to have a tendency to try to change things up all the time, usually this only results in me coming back to what was working in the beginning.

This past Fall was an interesting time of great happiness as well as some very distinct feelings of unrest. I was feeling so good in October that I decided to stop taking my anti-depressant/anti-anxiety med (Cymbalta) and thought, personally, that I was doing fine. But looking back, that was about the time my anxious unrest began. During and after Christmas things seemed to escalate at a rapid speed. I was constantly stressed, nervous, anxious and slightly angry. I called doc early Jan and started back up on the Cymbalta. It calmed me down considerably, but I've been very depressed - classic symptoms of fatigue and lack of enjoyment with the things I LOVE. I had an appointment yesterday to voice my concerns and was told that it is not uncommon for these types of drugs to lose their effectiveness after a few years (it's been 4 for me) and it often helps to change things up a bit. So... he gave me some samples of a fairly new drug called Prestiq and, yes, today is the first day. So here's to my onward and upward... once again.

I have tons more to post here but that will have to wait for another time. My two beautiful boys are sitting on the floor next to me playing Operation and would like nothing more than to have me play with them. Just call me "steady."

bring on Christmas!

I'm officially counting down now. Tree is up; stockings are hung; nativity set is on the entertainment center; lights are on the house; I finished the LAST of my shopping yesterday; everything is wrapped and stashed in the attic; and we have been watching all of the requisite Christmas shows for the past week (Rudolph, Polar Express, Frosty, The Grinch, Fred Klaus, and my personal favorite... A Christmas Story); and we attended our first holiday party on Friday night. I have also enjoyed several glasses of "better-than-nog" at said party.

Since my last post life has been going on in quite the usual pattern for me otherwise. I said goodbye to my group of men at Beto at their graduation ceremony on November 25. I have to admit it was a sad night as I had grown quite attached to several of them and the thought of them being in prison for so many more years is very sad to me. I know deep down they do need to be there for the things they've done, but it still breaks my heart.

Shortly thereafter we traveled home for the Thanksgiving holiday. I gained 5 happy pounds over that short trip... but that's okay now isn't it? We have since been looking forward to the Christmas trip which will last much longer and add even more pounds. And thanks to the choreo-talents of my Zumba-sisters, Leah and Tanya, I have been able to incorporate some Christmas songs into my classes which have been down in numbers but I'm thinking things will pick up again after the new year.

I am now psyching myself up for the coming week. My dear husband and partner, Mikey, will be gone on business until Thursday so I'm a single-mom for most of the week. I'm sure all will be fine. The only challenge will be bedtime because we are quite a team when it comes to putting this house to bed. But I can do it... I can do anything!

on to the future

Lack of time and energy will prohibit me from talking more about the election. I will say, though, I am happy, hopeful and so very inspired. Despite the fact that race shouldn't be such an important part of this election... it is! The African Americans deserve this day; at least I think so. Yes, I'm happy about it and my heart feels good for them. I can only imagine how it must feel, especially to the older generation who never dreamt that this day could happen in their lifetime. My strong "feeler" and "intuitive" traits are truly overjoyed!

And with that... You go, Obama! You go, Biden! I will continue to hold hope for you to make the differences you have promised.

election day 2008

Wow, can you believe this day is already here! I have refrained from writing about the upcoming election because I am quite honestly undecided. This year is so different from the last election - the dreaded Bush/Kerry decision. Back then I pretty much disliked both candidates and made my decision based on the fact that I disliked Kerry just a tad bit more than Bush. Honestly, the thought of that weasly guy running this country made my skin crawl, but that's my own opinion. Bush has his (many) flaws but he actually (at the time) seemed a stronger leader.

This year, on the other hand, I sincerely LIKE both of these guys. I will be pretty darn happy with either of them, quite frankly. I am very happy to be a witness to the first African American candidacy... I will be leaving for the voting booth in about 10 minutes and am still pondering my decision. There are a couple of issues I am very, very passionate about, but am wary of voting based on one or two issues. Alas... my vote will be cast nevertheless. I can't wait for the results!

halloween and other aspects of my life

Let's see... what has been happening since my last post?

Halloween

We headed over to Jimmy & Wendy's in Whitehouse. Between our family and theirs we had children ages 1, 2, 3, 4 & 5, a steak dinner waiting back at the house, beer & our cups full of wine as we stalked the neighborhood. As you can imagine, it was superfun for everyone. Stephen caught on fast. After the first house, he came walking back to us, so excited, with the biggest smile on his face as he happily showed us his little pumpkin bucket with one piece of candy in it, and was off to the next house! At one point, a motorcycle cop pulled up right in front of us and turned on his lights and sirens. I looked down at my now empty plastic cup which had just minutes earlier held several ounces of white wine and thought to myself... "Oh man, my kids are going to have to watch me take a breathalizer!" Luckily, the cop was simply passing out candy to the kids. Nicholas was elated - as his love for motorcycles reaches beyond the bounds of this earth!

ZumBA!

I have officially begun teaching three classes per week at the Y; Wednesday afternoon, Thursday morning and Friday morning. My first Wednesday class on the 22nd brought in only two people. This week brought in six so I won't worry yet. It is the first class they have placed in that timeslot so it may take awhile to get the word out. Thursday's class, on the other hand, has been marketed as a beginner class and is FILLED with a wonderful group of senior citizens. They are so sweet and fun. I have slowed the class way down and spend a lot of time breaking down the steps in between routines. And Friday is a power class. I have been getting a great turnout in that one - mainly other moms who frequent the YMCA's other morning classes. Most are new to Zumba so it has been a bit more instructional than normal but they all seem to be catching on and enjoying it. As for me - I'm lovin' this new facet of my life:)

Leah also threw an awesome ZumBOO party last Thursday. She choreographed routines to some Halloween music, everyone came in costume, there were prizes and giveaways and food. It was a blast. I went as a flapper.

Bridges to Life

The Texas prisons have been on lockdown for the past two weeks due to some security breaches at Huntsville. So my lovely family has had the gift of my Tuesday night presence.

So those are the big things. Bring on November... the food, the shopping, the stress. I think i'm ready.

scenes from a parade

scary happy

me... tired from lack of sleep last night. legs sore from practicing zumba routines all day. anxious for tomorrow's first Zumba instruction experience. hungry from eating small, healthy portions today. stressed about my less than tidy house and forever pile of laundry. no make up.

yet... happy.