thursday, bloody thursday

Looking back over my personal notes and journals I'm noticing a pattern in my life. Thursdays are bad for me. Thursdays I fall off the healthy wagon (ie: eat worse and lose zest for working out), I want/need to be alone, I am not as patient with the kids and I am most prone to cry. I'm not sure why but I've begun pondering this newfound realization. I'm sure it's quite a simple explanation and hopefully a quick fix.

So now, with this preface I will go on to say that yesterday wasn't the best of days but today I'm feeling much better. I'm tired but I think I'm worn out from going from 30 to 60 in my workout routine over the last two weeks. I literally went from working out twice a week to seven times. I've lost a couple pounds, my clothes are feeling better and people are noticing so yes, yes, yes... this is great! Also, the kids are loving the new activities their mornings at the YMCA bring them. The staff loves them and Macy has a new found admirer in little Kyle who, according to his mom, talks about her non-stop during the day. awwww!

***Plug for the 29 Day Giving Challenge. This thing is going to be big, ya'll. Look for a book and documentary to come out of it for Cami in the future. You go girl!!!

peace via yoga

As we were finishing up Yoga this morning in the "corpse" pose, the instructor asked us to all go to that place of relaxation. We have all heard this before and usually images of beaches and water are conjured up. Today, though, I concentrated on what this REALLY meant for ME. What came to mind was me, sitting on the roof of our small farm house that was situated on top of a hill overlooking the town we grew up in. I was sitting there wrapped in a sweater for the cool breeze, my knees pulled up to my chin, and was watching the cars drive by on the dirt road at the bottom of the hill. All of a sudden, I could see my dad standing in the pasture in front of me, looking at cattle. He turned around, saw me, smiled and motioned for me to join him. I went to him and we stood there, his arm around me, both of us looking out over the beautiful land. He looked down at me, smiled and kissed the top of my head. As I lay there, tears mixing with the sweat rolling down my face, I realized that that one, peaceful moment from my imagination was the one moment I have missed and have been looking for my entire life. Through no ones fault, my dad died before I had this moment that I'm positive is vital to every little girl. A moment of complete love and acceptance from the most important mortal man in your life. And the knowledge to appreciate it as it happens. This... Is... Peace.

Maybe there is something to this Yoga thing after all...

lilly little love miriovsky

Welcome to the newest member of the family. After 14 days of going to bed like a "good girl" Macy was rewarded with a kitten. Something she has been hoping and praying for for quite some time. She has named her Lilly Little Love Miriovsky. I have passed along to my children the need to give all things middle names. Lilly gets two - go figure. Nicholas was rewarded for his good behavior with two goldfish. One for himself and one for little bro, Stevo. Nick took the liberty of naming the fish PowerRanger Bob and Roger Ron. Just call 'em Bob and Roger for short.

to health!

Officially joined the Whitehouse Y this week and began the following schedule: Monday - Toning/Pilates/Zumba, Tuesday - Yoga, Wednesday - Pilates, Thursday - Yoga/Zumba, Friday - Toning. Each day I also try to do 30 minutes on the eliptical. The kids come along and hang out in the child care room and are doing great with it. I've already made some friends of other S-A-H Mommies who are there every morning. It's a nice couple hours for myself and I feel great. Yay for me. Exception: Wednesday was a bad day... a baaaad day. Mommy crabby. Friday - Hello Ms. Monthly Cycle... you bitch, you slut, you whore!

Tuesday night I resumed my second session with Bridges to Life Prison Restorative Justice Program. A whole new group of men to mold into respectible citizens. Eight out of the 12 are in on Murder charges so these stories should be really interesting once we get into them. First night, though, my co-facilitator, Shelley, and I introduced ourselves and spoke a lot about being open, honest and CONFIDENTIAL. Our hopes for them... simply, peace and hope for their futures.

PS - It's August!!!!! Macy Kindergarten countdown: T minus 24 days. Sadcitement!

Not so much new to report here so I'll simply post pictures of my beautiful children taken by my beautiful sister on our beautiful hometown farm in Sterling, Nebraska.

a bit stressed, a bit depressed

Stressed... I just returned from my week in Nebraska with kids, without husband. After the first five days, my children were in permanent out-of-control mode from lack of structure. The 12-hour drive home was harrowing. I called dear Mikey from Dallas with warning that, upon my return, I would be locking myself into my bedroom for the rest of the night. No, I didn't need dinner and no, I wasn't taking calls. I was showering and laying in bed watching mindless TV and, most likely, crying myself to sleep for various reasons of both the rational and irrational.

Depressed... While gone I received devastating news that my former boss, the man I was assistant to for 2 years, died quickly and shockingly from complications resulting from Strep Pnemonia. I had so much going on and so many responsibilities with the kids while on the trip that I haven't really had a chance to mourn and grieve. I very badly want to make the trip to Columbus, Ohio for the funeral, but I do not think it will work out. I can't think of a word for how I feel now. Russ was a great person, great sense of humor. We got along so well and in those two years I worked for him, I grew in many, many ways thanks to his leadership. He leaves behind an awesome wife and two beautiful daughters ages 5 and 7. Luckily, I do know that there is strong family support in Ohio for them and just from knowing his wife, Christie, I am positive she will make it through this and bring her girls through it with admirable strength and courage. God bless Russ's soul...

small town fun

here's a shot of me and my girls (cousin, sister, nieces) at the annual Firemen's Picnic in Sterling, NE (my hometown). More Nebraska photo-documentation to come...